The Write Way

Taking the Plunge

First things first, Merry Christmas to all of you! I hope the day has been filled with laughter and love. For the past several days I've been in a reflective mode, as I am sure many of you may be able to relate to. I've made some definite decisions for 2007 and I hope to be able to carry them forward. I hope that we can take this journey together as I update you on a few of my goals and decisions throughout the year.

One of my biggest goals or decisions for 2007 is to take the next step in my business. As many of you may know, while I'm working for myself, I still have a "day job" I am struggling with the idea of leaving the security and benefits of that day job and devote all of my time to really making my business take off. Don't get me wrong, I've had some great success since launching my business a couple of years ago, but I know that there are only so many clients I can take on while still devoting hours to working for someone else. Still, part of me wants to reach a certain level of success before I quit.

The trouble with that thinking? How can I reach that level of success if I am splitting my time between my business and working for someone else? With two small children in my home, I worry about not having what they need. But then again, my husband works full time and there are lots of people living on one income. Besides, I would be bringing money in; it just won't be a guaranteed amount every two weeks.

I will say this though, the longer I work for someone else, the stronger my desire to work 100% for me becomes. This holiday season has been a perfect example. Often I felt as though my job was interfering with the rest of my life! I had errands to run, gifts to by, people to check on. Working for me gives me the freedom to devote as little or as much time as I need to get the job done. And deciding what hours I want to work would be a dream.

I look forward to keeping you posted as I get ready to take the plunge. I have a few deals in the works that I hope will become reality once the holiday has passed. Keep your fingers crossed! In the meantime, for all of you who are like me, with one foot in the entrepreneurial pool and the other on dry land, let's get ready to get wet!

Changing Priorities

You know it's funny. When I was younger, all I wanted to be was a reporter. I wanted to cover the news, particularly education and write stories that were compelling, thought provoking and easy to read. I held on to that dream from elementary school and on into college. I majored in Journalism and after graduation, I became the education reporter for a bureau of my hometown newspaper.

The long hours came with the territory and I didn't mind it at all. I was living my dream - or so I thought. It's funny how your priorities can shift and change your entire perspective. Now, I want nothing more than for the workday to come to an end so that I can get home to what matters most to me -being a wife and a mother. But as the economy worsens and more and more of us are just trying to keep our jobs, it irritates me to see what many employers are doing. While I am no longer working as a reporter, I am still in the Communications field. And often I feel pressured to check e-mail when I have a sick child or I am really off and on vacation. They just aren't family friendly.

Take today. My oldest child is a chronic asthmatic and this allergy season has been rough. It often starts with sneezing and itchy eyes but in the blink of an eye, he develops a deep and sometimes painful cough. He had trouble sleeping last night and so I kept him home for part of the day. But once he began to perk up a bit, I asked how he felt about me going to work for the second half of the day while he goes to grandma's office with his sleeping bag to watch a movie and relax. He wasn't thrilled but he agreed. I felt awful but I also felt pressured to get into the office and work. I hate feeling as though I am obligated to work, even when I need to be there for my children.  And as you know, I have a younger child with special needs. I want to spend as much time as I need to making sure her issues are addressed. But with this economy, everyone is so concerned about having a job, (me included) that we find ourselves committing more time to work.  I feel that I must give 200 percent to work to make sure I keep my job.

I am sure many of you feel the same. But here's what I propose (or at least what I plan to do for me). Right now, I know my family needs my income so I'll keep working. But I am going to use my burning desire to spend more time parenting and less time working on someone else's dime to motivate me. Take tonight. It's after 11 p.m. and I am to report to work at 7 a.m. tomorrow. But I'm up writing - because my goal is to use my background as a writer to further my blog, gain more freelance opportunities and promote my website on adoption. Each day I'll report to work, grateful for a job, but secretly finding the motivation to turn my passion into a way of life and a means to help support my family.

If you feel the way I do, then I challenge you to do the same. Research how possible it might be to turn what you love into a business. Look for franchising opportunities or work-from-home sites. And never let anyone make you feel guilty for taking time to care for your children (I'm still working on that one myself). The next time I have a sick little one, I'll let you know what I decided to do about work.

It Will Consume You - If You Let It

Recently, I read an article that left me shaking my head. A major retailer (we won't say any names) recently announced a demerit system for employees.  Every time an employee is late to work, they receive a demerit. A certain number of demerits results in disciplinary action.  That concept isn't too alarming, but the story continues. If an employee must leave early to pick up a sick child, they receive a demerit for that as well.  Now that is the part I have trouble with.

I think that Corporate America has become too intrusive. The more time you give a company the more time they seem to demand of you. I interviewed a few people in my local community about the climate at their workplace.  Most said they felt guilty whenever they needed to leave work early even if it was to take care of a sick relative.  Some said they felt pressure to attend after hours work-related events even if they were social in nature, like Christmas or retirement parties. Others said even when home sick or taking care of a sick child they often fielded phone calls and answered e-mails from co-workers. And ALL (that's right ALL OF THEM) said they check in with the office at least once or twice a day by phone or e-mail while on vacation.

As the mother of two small children I had to make a decision early in my career - that no matter how my employers may feel, I have to put the welfare of my children first. I know that sounds easy enough right? But believe me, there have been many times when I've had to actually practice what I preach so to speak, and it wasn't always easy.  I had to decide what after hours events I could attend and those that I could not. If it meant I was passed over for promotions (which has happened) then I had to determine how I wanted to handle that. There were times when I brought my concerns to the attention of my employers. Of course, no one wants to admit the ugly truth, but at least they knew I wasn't afraid to stand up for myself. You see, it has to stop somewhere.

The more we answer e-mails from work on the weekend, stay late with no compensation, take projects home to complete and ditch our vacations because the boss says they really need us, the more of that behavior employers begin to expect. Yes, some flexibility is in order and sometimes we must attend meetings and events that we would rather skip out on, but remember that you do have a RIGHT to a life. You don't owe your employer every waking minute of the day, no matter how much pressure they put on you.

But, having said that, I can think of one good thing to come out of a corporate environment demanding more and more of our time - it's one heck of a motivator to put things in play to work for yourself and it has launched a lot of entrepreneurs, myself included.

Tell me what you think. Has Corporate America become too intrusive?

She Did What!?

I don't consider myself to be that old, but hey, who does? The older you get the younger people start to look to you. But in my 30+ years of living, I never thought things would get THAT bad. Earlier this week I read a story about a young mother of three who put her 3-week-old baby in the microwave, and turned it on. She has recently been charged with murder. Just today I read a story about a mother who used her 4-week-old as a weapon in a fight with her boyfriend - fracturing the baby's skull.

I recently told a cousin of mine that for now, my number one job is to do everything in my power to protect my children.  I must do all I can to keep them safe and to make sure they have what they need to be successful - to do anything less would be irresponsible.

And believe me, as we get closer to Christmas, there will be more stories of mothers (and fathers too) who have lost hope and have abandoned or abused their children in a moment of despair. Christmas has become too commercialized. We stress over how someone might feel if we can't afford to give them just the right gift and we worry if someone buys a gift for us and we don't have a gift in return.

Christmas should be a time for family and for giving thanks. If you can't buy your child the latest gadget so what! Teach them about the true meaning of the holiday and buy what your budget will allow. Be honest, do your children, nieces and nephews even know where the gifts are that you bought last year? Do you even remember what you bought for them or what others bought for your?

And I urge all of you to look for signs of stress in your own life this season. Take time to get the name of a child or family in need. If we help each other, it can make the holiday a lot more pleasant and less stressful. If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, take a break from the hustle and bustle. Go for a long walk and think about all that you have to be grateful for. Go to church or volunteer to help those less fortunate. Giving, whether it is of your time, talents or treasures is one heck of a stress reliever. It reminds us that no matter how bad things are, there's always someone whose situation is even worse.

Look for signs of stress in your family members and offer to help. Never think that they aren't capable of the unthinkable when under pressure. I mean, do you really think the family of that mother with the 3-week-old ever thought she'd put him in the microwave? Think about it.