The Write Way

Some Time To Reflect

Ok, let me start by apologizing right off the bat. It's been almost two weeks since my last post. I've been doing a little soul searching and a little thinking (always a dangerous concept) and I've come up with a few things I wanted to share.

First, the gowns giveaway was a success. We are sure there will be more phone calls as the proms draw nearer and we will help anyone that contacts us. Planning for that event, as well as writing a few grants for the non-profit have taken a lot of time.  I've re-discovered just how much I enjoy that and my hope is to blend my writing with my passion for the non-profit.  I had fun writing the press releases and flyers and sending them out to the media. I got quite a bit of air time for us on TV, print and radio.

A writing career can be tough to get off of the ground, especially when you work full time. So, while I am still pursuing a writing career, I've learned not to let the desire consume me. I've also learned that I can put my writing skills to good use for the non-profit and assist the girls in our program.

Many of our girls don't write well and their speech is even worse. I guess this time off has given me the chance to realize that even if I don't get the chance to become a writer full time, there's still much I can do with the gift I've been given. 

The girls are getting ready to elect officers for the group. They are required to write a speech explaining why they are the best candidate for a particular position. It's been fulfilling to help them with their speeches and give pointers on how to present themselves.

So for now I'll continue to work on my writing career but I won't let the disappointments when I don't get a bid depress me - there's too much for me to do for that. Besides, my girls need me and that's a feeling no writing job can match.

Girls, Gowns and Grants

I know, I know. Today is Thursday and I'm just getting around to Monday's blog. It's been a tough week!

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it, but my sisters and I started a non-profit about five years ago (can't believe it's been that long already!!). It's called Sisters Empowering Women. Inc. We work with at-risk teenage girls, especially those in foster care (no big surprise considering, right?) and adult women.

Anyway, along with my writing career, I really feel led to make the non-profit all that it can be; and many times I use my writing skills for the agency. We are working on fitness and nutrition this year and I've been busy writing grants for funding (I had two due in the last three weeks). We also give away evening gowns for prom and homecoming each year to girls who can't afford them.  So, I've been working hard getting ready for prom season.

The girls are always so appreciative and excited about the chance to pick out a pretty gown just like all the other girls. I wanted to write about some of those girls this week.

Many are in foster care and would have had to wear a gown a social worker had from their prom 8 years ago. Some are living with a mom or dad that had no idea where they would get the money from for the ticket much less the dress. Girls in the program don't understand the basics for taking care of themselves even as some approach their 18th birthday (and will be forced to live on their own).  Some are struggling in school and most lack basic life skills. Some have left the group, not wanting to follow the rules we set forth and the guidelines for participation - many return, wishing they hadn't left and with the tough life scars to prove it. One came to see us just today, pregnant and regretting that she didn't take the advice and help we offered that could have prevented pregnancy.

I have realized that one of the reasons I work is to take care of not only my two children, but the children of mothers and fathers who can't and even some who just won't.

No matter what state you live in, foster care is a reality. And imagine, if you grew up in a group home without the help to be successful, there are a lot of men and women walking around still struggling with how to be a responsible adult - they just didn't have a proper model to follow. I hope that some of you will take the time to research agencies where you can make a difference.

Take a look in your closet, do you have a dress or suit you can donate? Is there a young boy or girl in your neighborhood without a mom or dad that you might mentor? Or, maybe you can spread the word about a worthy cause and inspire others to donate.

We begin giving out dresses next Saturday. I'll let you know how it goes. No matter how hard my day may have been, spending time with these girls lets me know just how blessed I am.

Take A Number

So by now, if you've read any good portion of this blog, you know that I am the mother of two adopted children. Both were in foster care and my husband and I were their foster parents as we waited for things to be finalized.

What you don't know is that being a foster parent exposed me to a world I knew little about. I grew up in your average middle class family. My parents did what was necessary to provide for us and even when things were lean, I never knew it. So public assistance programs and how they work were foreign to me.

But when you foster, your children are eligible for certain benefits. For example, all children in foster care in Florida receive Medicaid and infants get WIC (Women, Infant and Children) a program that provides milk and dairy products for women and their children in low economic tax brackets. Foster children receive these benefits because as wards of the State, it is the State that is ultimately responsible for their care.

They recommend that all foster parents take advantage of the benefits the children are eligible for because the more you pay for out of pocket, the more many in the State sometime expect you to pay for.

So, it started with WIC. I was given an appointment time to show up, sign my name and receive coupons for my foster child's formula and cereal for the month. My appointment time was 8:30 a.m. I arrived 15 minutes early and figured I was all set... yeah right.

I arrive only to find that the appointment time is useless, I must take a number, like in the deli line, and wait for my number to be called.

Then, it was off to the doctor. First, finding a decent pediatrician that takes Medicaid is a joke. Finally, I find one, and make an appointment. Again, I arrive about 15 minutes early to fill out the necessary paperwork. Four hours later, I get the prescription for my daughter's ear infection.

Recently, a dear friend of mine went to see her Medicaid OBGYN. She had pap smear that came back abnormal. You would think the next step would be to order more tests right? No, the doctor told her that since she didn't have HPV, (Human Papilloma Virus), they would just wait a year and then retest. Fortunately she insisted that her primary physician send her to another doctor who ran the appropriate tests and learned that she has pre-cancerous cells in her cervix. They are scheduling out patient surgery to remove the cells.

So what's my point? It's simple. The way people on public assistance are treated is deplorable. They deserve the same level of care as anyone else. I mean, four hours at the doctor? Give me a break. It was as though they figured I didn't have a job anyway and could afford to just sit there. And my friend - how frustrating can it be to have an abnormal test and no answers as to why and a doctor who says "Abnormal? no worries!" Get real!

Fortunately for me and my children, I had the resources to just pay for a doctor if I had to - it would have cost a pretty penny, and I would have to rework the budget, but at least I had the option.

But for my friend and thousands like her, they have no other choice. So, what are they to do?

Now that my children are officially adopted and I was able to add them to my insurance, I've switched pediatricians and decreased my wait time. I look forward to the day that my friend can do the same.