Parenting and the Economy

I am a news junky – always have been, always will be. I like to check news from around the U.S.

and the world and sometimes I see some pretty interesting stories. Recently a story out of Nebraska caught my eye and really made me sad.

A father in Nebraska took advantaged of the new Safe-Harbor Law in that state leave his nine children at a local hospital without fear of prosecution. The children ranged in age from one to 17 and were reportedly doing OK. Doing OK? Wow, that’s a powerful statement. Their father just abandoned them so I doubt they are doing OK.  The law, which went into effect in July, was intended to protect infants, but when lawmakers couldn’t decide on an age limit, it meant some could interpret it to apply any child under age 18.

 

When I first read the story I was really upset at the father. How could he do such a thing? I mean, there is a pretty thin line between I’m having trouble taking care of these kids and, I just don’t feel like being bothered anymore. No one said parenting would be easy and if we all just decided it was too hard, children everywhere could grow up without a stable home.

 

But then I began to look at the situation differently. Times in this economy are really hard right now. People don’t have enough money for the basic essentials and the foreclosure rate is through the roof.  Perhaps what this father did was his only way of making sure that his children at least had a fighting chance at a better life. Besides, if everyone was a model parent, then I wouldn’t be a mom today. I have my children because their biological parents weren’t able to care for them. Of the five foster children I’ve had in my home, one of them was abandoned at birth. But unlike these children, it wasn’t at a safe place (even though Florida has the same law) it was outside in an area that wasn’t safe at all.

I won’t reveal if the child is one of the two I adopted or one of the children I fostered on their way to another home, but I will say I was angry at the biological mom just as I was at this father. But I had to realize that without knowing what was going on in her mind at that time, I can’t judge her.

 

With all of the stories you hear about parents killing their children or abusing them in ways you never thought possible, at least the father in Nebraska just decided to walk away. And in the case of the child in my life, while the mom may not have found the safest place to leave the child, she didn’t harm the baby and left the child in a way that someone was sure to find the baby. Being a parent is the most important job I will ever do and I would sacrifice anything for my children. But without knowing all there is to know about the situation of my foster child’s biological mother or the father in Nebraska, I can’t decide that they are terrible people.

So whether the dad in Nebraska left them because he just couldn’t care for them or because he wanted to live free of kids, at least he didn’t harm them. And while the emotional scars may last a while, if they find a loving home they will get the chance to heal, grow and one day make better decisions when its time to parent their own children.

No matter how much I strive to be a good parent, stories like these remind me that I can be just one bad day away from making the choices these parents have made. Raising children can be stressful and in the times we live in the added stress of not enough money, not enough food, and not enough jobs only makes it worse. So I pray that before I decide to judge them I remember that but for the grace of God, it could be me.

 

Comments

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