The Write Way

Not Another New Year's Resolution

Yes, I know. I've fallen off the wagon - again. It's been what, almost three months since I posted? I feel terrible but hey, the holidays were... oh never mind. Let me just catch you up on what's been going on.

I've actually moved past just talking about changing course in my work life and I am actually doing something about it. I signed on with a work from home company. I start training next week. I want to see how it works and if I could really pull it off. I'll use the extra money to pay off a few bills and get ready for my next step.

I went to the library and did a bit of research for the non-profit. Have I ever mentioned the non-profit before? My sisters and I founded a non-profit, Sisters Empowering Women (SEW), Inc. a few years ago. I would love to secure enough grant funding to make that my full time gig. Since the non-profit is mine, it makes for being my own boss. And I could do the work from home thing a few hours a week here and there.

Anyway, in case I've never mentioned SEW, we work with at-risk teenage girls with a special emphasis on girls in foster care (pretty obvious why that is right?). I'm hoping to get a few foundations to love SEW as much as I do.

Strangely, as bad as the economy is right now, I am optimistic about what I can accomplish with a lot of faith and hard work this year.  I know that I have to just take that bold step forward and make it happen. Sometimes I get really motivated (like I am right now) and then work, laundry, my daughter's appointments, my son's basketball games and practices, all of it just closes in and I am beat by the time I get home. That's when I fall off the wagon and take a 3-month hiatus from writing!! I just can't afford to do that anymore. If I want to make this thing work and really leave the 9 to 5 behind, I have to work my plan!

I know, non-profit work can be risky business. But honestly, I love it! There's nothing that fuels me more than watching a simple act of kindness change the life of someone else. So, I've got about 5 letters of inquiry for grants I am mailing tomorrow. And I'm back on the writing wagon. It's the only way I can stay sane. I hope that some of you will keep track of me and make me accountable.

Next time, I'll update you on how the kids have been. Lots of changes since I last posted. But why bore you will all the details at once? Don't want to overload you. It's just good to be back!

Parenting and the Economy

I am a news junky – always have been, always will be. I like to check news from around the U.S.

and the world and sometimes I see some pretty interesting stories. Recently a story out of Nebraska caught my eye and really made me sad.

A father in Nebraska took advantaged of the new Safe-Harbor Law in that state leave his nine children at a local hospital without fear of prosecution. The children ranged in age from one to 17 and were reportedly doing OK. Doing OK? Wow, that’s a powerful statement. Their father just abandoned them so I doubt they are doing OK.  The law, which went into effect in July, was intended to protect infants, but when lawmakers couldn’t decide on an age limit, it meant some could interpret it to apply any child under age 18.

 

When I first read the story I was really upset at the father. How could he do such a thing? I mean, there is a pretty thin line between I’m having trouble taking care of these kids and, I just don’t feel like being bothered anymore. No one said parenting would be easy and if we all just decided it was too hard, children everywhere could grow up without a stable home.

 

But then I began to look at the situation differently. Times in this economy are really hard right now. People don’t have enough money for the basic essentials and the foreclosure rate is through the roof.  Perhaps what this father did was his only way of making sure that his children at least had a fighting chance at a better life. Besides, if everyone was a model parent, then I wouldn’t be a mom today. I have my children because their biological parents weren’t able to care for them. Of the five foster children I’ve had in my home, one of them was abandoned at birth. But unlike these children, it wasn’t at a safe place (even though Florida has the same law) it was outside in an area that wasn’t safe at all.

I won’t reveal if the child is one of the two I adopted or one of the children I fostered on their way to another home, but I will say I was angry at the biological mom just as I was at this father. But I had to realize that without knowing what was going on in her mind at that time, I can’t judge her.

 

With all of the stories you hear about parents killing their children or abusing them in ways you never thought possible, at least the father in Nebraska just decided to walk away. And in the case of the child in my life, while the mom may not have found the safest place to leave the child, she didn’t harm the baby and left the child in a way that someone was sure to find the baby. Being a parent is the most important job I will ever do and I would sacrifice anything for my children. But without knowing all there is to know about the situation of my foster child’s biological mother or the father in Nebraska, I can’t decide that they are terrible people.

So whether the dad in Nebraska left them because he just couldn’t care for them or because he wanted to live free of kids, at least he didn’t harm them. And while the emotional scars may last a while, if they find a loving home they will get the chance to heal, grow and one day make better decisions when its time to parent their own children.

No matter how much I strive to be a good parent, stories like these remind me that I can be just one bad day away from making the choices these parents have made. Raising children can be stressful and in the times we live in the added stress of not enough money, not enough food, and not enough jobs only makes it worse. So I pray that before I decide to judge them I remember that but for the grace of God, it could be me.

 

The Great Balancing Act

So it's been a while since I've blogged... no excuses, here I am. I promise not to take such a hiatus again but I needed some time to think. I was working hard at trying to get my writing career off of the ground, so hard in fact that I was applying for work I really didn't want to do. Each time I quoted a job I was afraid I had bid too high. I had to remind myself of my worth and how not to devalue what I am capable of doing.

And then of course, I still work full time, have two children, a husband and a dog. I didn't know if I was coming or going, (and some days I still don't). There was the house work, the non-profit, and the list goes on. So, since bolstering my writing business wasn't a must, and I couldn't very well stop being a mommy and a wife, I let it take a back seat while I did a bit of reevaluating.

The truth is, while I am back at the grind, I am still in a desperate search for that new buzz word, BALANCE. How in the world do I find time to work (gotta pay those bills), take care of children, be a good wife, keep a house going, volunteer, attend church functions AND start a business? Someday I don't seem to be able to get my head above water. No matter how many times I clean a bathroom, cook a meal or wash a dish, there's always more housework to be done. And no matter how many times I tie a shoe, wipe a runny nose, fix a plate or put a band-aid on a scratch so small you need a magnifying glass to see it, my children still want the majority of my time. And I still haven't fed the dog or said a word to my husband!

Truth is, like I've said before, my 9 to 5, the job that pays the bills, is really in the way. I know I've said this before but I am still not quite ready to just take the plunge in my business without the safety net of a check I know I can count on. So, here I sit - trying to figure out how to make it all work. Got any suggestions? Until then, I'm making a few adjustments that I hope will work... I'll let you know how it goes.

way. I know I've said this before but I am still not quite ready to just take the plunge in my business without the safety net of a check I know I can count on. So, here I sit - trying to figure out how to make it all work. Got any suggestions? Until then, I'm making a few adjustments that I hope will work... I'll let you know how it goes.

Some Time To Reflect

Ok, let me start by apologizing right off the bat. It's been almost two weeks since my last post. I've been doing a little soul searching and a little thinking (always a dangerous concept) and I've come up with a few things I wanted to share.

First, the gowns giveaway was a success. We are sure there will be more phone calls as the proms draw nearer and we will help anyone that contacts us. Planning for that event, as well as writing a few grants for the non-profit have taken a lot of time.  I've re-discovered just how much I enjoy that and my hope is to blend my writing with my passion for the non-profit.  I had fun writing the press releases and flyers and sending them out to the media. I got quite a bit of air time for us on TV, print and radio.

A writing career can be tough to get off of the ground, especially when you work full time. So, while I am still pursuing a writing career, I've learned not to let the desire consume me. I've also learned that I can put my writing skills to good use for the non-profit and assist the girls in our program.

Many of our girls don't write well and their speech is even worse. I guess this time off has given me the chance to realize that even if I don't get the chance to become a writer full time, there's still much I can do with the gift I've been given. 

The girls are getting ready to elect officers for the group. They are required to write a speech explaining why they are the best candidate for a particular position. It's been fulfilling to help them with their speeches and give pointers on how to present themselves.

So for now I'll continue to work on my writing career but I won't let the disappointments when I don't get a bid depress me - there's too much for me to do for that. Besides, my girls need me and that's a feeling no writing job can match.

Girls, Gowns and Grants

I know, I know. Today is Thursday and I'm just getting around to Monday's blog. It's been a tough week!

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it, but my sisters and I started a non-profit about five years ago (can't believe it's been that long already!!). It's called Sisters Empowering Women. Inc. We work with at-risk teenage girls, especially those in foster care (no big surprise considering, right?) and adult women.

Anyway, along with my writing career, I really feel led to make the non-profit all that it can be; and many times I use my writing skills for the agency. We are working on fitness and nutrition this year and I've been busy writing grants for funding (I had two due in the last three weeks). We also give away evening gowns for prom and homecoming each year to girls who can't afford them.  So, I've been working hard getting ready for prom season.

The girls are always so appreciative and excited about the chance to pick out a pretty gown just like all the other girls. I wanted to write about some of those girls this week.

Many are in foster care and would have had to wear a gown a social worker had from their prom 8 years ago. Some are living with a mom or dad that had no idea where they would get the money from for the ticket much less the dress. Girls in the program don't understand the basics for taking care of themselves even as some approach their 18th birthday (and will be forced to live on their own).  Some are struggling in school and most lack basic life skills. Some have left the group, not wanting to follow the rules we set forth and the guidelines for participation - many return, wishing they hadn't left and with the tough life scars to prove it. One came to see us just today, pregnant and regretting that she didn't take the advice and help we offered that could have prevented pregnancy.

I have realized that one of the reasons I work is to take care of not only my two children, but the children of mothers and fathers who can't and even some who just won't.

No matter what state you live in, foster care is a reality. And imagine, if you grew up in a group home without the help to be successful, there are a lot of men and women walking around still struggling with how to be a responsible adult - they just didn't have a proper model to follow. I hope that some of you will take the time to research agencies where you can make a difference.

Take a look in your closet, do you have a dress or suit you can donate? Is there a young boy or girl in your neighborhood without a mom or dad that you might mentor? Or, maybe you can spread the word about a worthy cause and inspire others to donate.

We begin giving out dresses next Saturday. I'll let you know how it goes. No matter how hard my day may have been, spending time with these girls lets me know just how blessed I am.

Sounds Like A Good Idea... Right?

This week I decided to give you an update on how things are going with my business. I've had a few highs and one definite low. 

Let's start with the highs, it makes me feel better. I attended a networking event and picked up a client or two and I did a few small jobs from some websites where I've posted my credentials. Things seemed to be going well, and then...

One of my clients gave me a call to thank me for my work and to find out how I wanted to receive payment. She also had a suggestion for me, "take a look at your website" she said.

Weeks earlier, on the suggestion of a colleague I went to a site that would host my web pages for free in exchange for allowing advertisers to put up small ads and banners. You know, you've been to a site where there may be a small ad on the side about working from home, funding for college, home loans, etc.  I figured, sounds like a good idea right? WRONG!

Turns out one of the ads they included was an ad from the site-hoster about how you can add free video to your website. Some of the sample video shown was rather tacky and not something you would want a client to see. My client was kind enough to let me know, but there's no telling how many others saw the ad. The ads rotate so some may have seen it, some may not have. It had to be my lowest day. But it did teach me a lesson.

Even though I'm still in the beginning stages of formalizing my business, I can't afford to take short cuts. It's better to have no website than to have the catastrophe I just endured. It took the wind out of my sails but I'm surviving. It's a mistake, the first of many I am sure. This has also taught me that if I'm going to make my business grow, it's no longer just about how well I write, it's the entire package.

So I am taking my punches in stride. I've deactivated the website and will wait until I can get a quality site (I'm no web designer) that's advertisement free!

I'll keep you posted. Meanwhile, if you have any war stories from your small business adventures I'd love to hear them - it will let me know that I'm not alone and that there's still hope for my success. - Until next time!